Getting On With Grief: Lives Intertwined

I know. It’s ironic.

The girl with the Bright life tagline is kicking off the most wonderful time of the year with the topic of grief.

Not the most positive start. Not exactly on brand. 🎄♥️❄️

But hear me out, it’s timely.

We’re coming up on the 4th anniversary of my dad’s passing. Before my Dad died, I had thought I’d experienced grief before.

And I suppose in small ways, I had. Unrequited crush, didn’t get the job I wanted, an out of the blue breakup-that kind of thing.

I’d even lost people I loved very much-still wasn’t quite like this.

I didn’t experience the life-altering, identity shifting, wake up a different person type of grief until December 2020.

When a game of tennis on a Tuesday (9 days before Christmas) turned into the last one I’d ever play with my Dad.

That type of grief settles into your bones, changes your cells. I’ve changed & molded in numerous ways since that day.

Now, sometimes I’ll come across a passage from a book or a lyric from a song that hits an emotion I’ve been trying to express, but couldn’t quite find the words for. And I find an odd comfort in that. This happened again recently.

While reading Within Arm’s Reach by Ann Napolitano, I came across a passage on page 229 that resonated with me.

The character Noreen, a recent young widow, reflects on this phenomenon.

“I used to be a very committed Catholic, and for me giving thanks to God is the hardest habit to shake. Now I get around that by thanking my husband when good things fall into my lap. It is a way for me to feel close to Eddie, and to feel that our lives are still intertwined.”

A traumatic incident shook a piece of me-call it my faith, my beliefs, my foundation that once felt solid.

And there have been multiple moments of reckoning since where I’ve held onto a flickering hope, wondering if when good things came, my Dad had played a part in it coming to pass.

I share this in case you also hope the one you love and lost is looking down, sending good karma your way, keeping an eye out. Isn’t that what we all want? To feel our lives are intertwined with the ones we’ve lost?

Have you ever felt this way before, or is it just me?

For anybody grieving this holiday season, I am wishing you a wonderful season in spite of your loss. I hope that you can find small moments where you sense your lives being intertwined, with your loved one along for the ride.

Until Next Time,

Danielle