Another Wedding Season Down…Reflections from a Serial Bridesmaid, A Frequent Guest, & Even Once The Bride
It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this? It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss.
These are the Killers lyrics that circled in & out of my head for the 9 month planning process of my wedding. Yes, there was excitement & wonder & all of the magical things you dream about as a little girl. I was surrounded by more love than I previously thought possible during that season of life.
But there was also a TON of mental energy put towards time sensitive, “urgent” matters.
From the little details, like centerpieces, seating arrangements, & color schemes, to the questions that woke me up at night:
How do I know so many people?
Who is going to feel left out?
Should they or shouldn’t they get a plus one? (When in doubt & if you can swing it, give the plus one).
I believe most would also agree, weddings are a significant investment. Whether you’re paying for it yourself or being treated by your family or a mix of both, you want it to be special & momentous. Subconsciously (atleast for me) I wanted the money & time investment to feel “worth it” for all involved.
Some of the decisions are big. But two years later, I can look back & assure you, some of them feel bigger than they need to. I absolutely loved my wedding day, but I feel I got some things wrong, putting my worries towards areas I shouldn’t have & neglecting others.
Why is all of this rising to the surface?
We just wrapped up another wedding season. As somebody in my mid thirties, I’ve been to what seems like a gazillion weddings. Sometimes as a guest, sometimes in the bridal party, even once as the main act.
100 percent of the time, they’re a lot of fun.
I guess what I’m saying is, if you’re like me (an overthinker), it really isn’t as deep as we make it.
We’re entering the time of year where the engagement announcements will roll in. For this next batch of betrothed, they’re going to hopefully look forward to their wedding day & look back on their wedding day as well.
If I could give my younger self advice to ensure a memorable day & save myself some grief, it would be something like this:
Let the day reflect you as a couple.
I love when couples sprinkle bits & pieces of their relationship into the festivities.
I’ve seen tables named after favorite destinations that the couples frequent (this weekend we were at the Skaneateles Bakery table).
I am pretty much guaranteed to cry when couples write their own vows.
I’m always curious what song the couple will choose for their first dance.
I love when the wedding is in a special city or place that is meaningful to the couple.
I’ve seen a Star Wars themed wedding cake.
If the family dog is involved, I’m hooked.
A wedding should be an invitation to celebrate right alongside you & whatever makes you & your partnership unique.
Prioritize what matters to YOU (as much as you can).
Not your Mom (love you Mom)
Not your in-laws (love my in-laws too)
Not your wedding planner (didn’t have one).
Don’t worry so much about trends, they’ll change by the time you book a date.
You can consider what your cousin did, what your best friend did, what the Pinterest boards look like. But they aren’t you. They care about different things.
Really consider, what parts of the planning do you want to prioritize? What matters most to you?
I’ve seen some absolutely incredible floral arrangements. But if you can’t tell a rose from a hydrangea, then let the florist throw something together for you.
Some couples pride themselves on being absolute foodies. Really dive deep into the menu if that’s what lights your fire. Otherwise, let the caterer show you a couple options & call it a day. As a guest, I assure you, if I’m fed, I’m happy.
In conclusion…
My favorite part of my wedding was actually my husband’s suggestion. Up to that point, he’d been the type of guy that went with the flow with pretty much every decision, letting me lead, staying calm while I spiraled.
Before you think aw, that’s so sweet, let’s just admit the truth-he didn’t care as much about the details.
So when he did have a strong opinion, I decided to oblige.
When he requested to add Blink 182 & other punk rock artists to the must play list, I was somewhat baffled.
It was unconventional. It was strange. It broke tradition. What would my aunts think? (Love my aunts too).
But it was quintessentially him. So we went with it.
And the photos tell the story-it was perfect.
The dance floor was packed. It’s what people still talk about.
And it’s one of the things we remember most.
A toast to your memorable moments, on your special day & long after.
What about you? What sticks out when you go to weddings?
Until next time,
<3 Danielle
